Parents often ask me how to get along with their suddenly volatile preteen daughter.It’s a shock when your previously sweet little girl starts tantrumming again.While it's not always practical to become friends before dating someone, try to get to know your date through a group activity or a double-date before you go solo.You'll see how your date-to-be gets along with others, and you'll get some good clues about what to expect from them.Twelve year old girls can be moody, over-dramatizing, self-centered, focused almost solely on friends, close-mouthed, surly, back-talking and condescending to parents.
Many kids get their first cell phone as they hit the preteen years, because they start to spend more time away from home.Every day I spend several hours with girls in my counseling practice. Don’t neglect, ignore, or treat your friends badly when you are in a relationship. Dating Tips for teenage girls #4 Don’t be flattered by jealousy. Dating tips for teenage girls #5 Stick up for yourself. Assertiveness is expressing your own needs respectfully to other people.Regardless of why they are there, most of the session hour we talk about dating. Everyone always says “You can’t help who you love”. Have you thought about what you are looking for in a boy? Spend time determining whether you can trust the person you are dating. Dating Tips for girls #3 Never cancel on previous plans with your girlfriends or neglect your friendships. If your boyfriend regularly intrudes on your privacy, accuses you of cheating, threatens other boys or tries to limit or control your freedom, ditch him. Ignoring your own needs and feelings while consistently putting boys first, will cause boys to walk all over you.That first cell phone needs to come with written rules and responsibilities in the form of a signed contract, so your child learns how to handle it responsibly.If you ask your kids what they think the rules should be, and negotiate until you’re happy, they will “own” those rules.It's a good policy to bring your cell phone along, if you have one, and to leave your date's phone number with your parents, just in case anything goes wrong.Be prepared for the unexpected: You might need a ride home, some extra cash or a way to bail if your date is a dud.The bad news is that your tween’s developing body is flooded by hormones, her brain is rewiring, her need to discover herself and her place in the world takes precedence over the other things she values (like her family and schoolwork), and she probably can’t acknowledge how much she still loves and needs you, because she's working hard to feel "grown up" and independent.The good news is that if you can accept this new situation and adjust your parenting accordingly, the tween years are the perfect time to strengthen your relationship before she heads into the teen years.Trust your instincts: If something doesn't seem right about the person, do not share your contact information and leave the situation immediately. Even if it's a little annoying, let your mom, dad or another adult know when you’re going out.Be sure to tell your parents who you're going with, where you plan to go and what time you expect to return home, too.