When you don’t know that a particular behavior is a symptom, you may misinterpret it as your partner’s true feelings for you.Orlov recalled feeling miserable and unloved in her own marriage.For one, couples may not even know that one partner (or both) suffers from ADHD in the first place.(Take a quick screening quiz here.)In fact, “more than half of adults who have ADHD don’t know they have it,” according to Orlov.Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can dramatically affect a relationship.
If you’re the person with ADHD, you may feel like you’re constantly being criticized, nagged, and micromanaged.The attention and hyperfocus on you was very exciting for a while.But when the chemicals calmed down, so did your partner, and then as is often the case, the next shiny object moved in to take your place. All relationships need nurturing to keep the romance going.Below, Melissa Orlov, marriage consultant and author of the award-winning book The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps, discusses the top challenges in these relationships and the solutions that truly make a difference.One of the biggest challenges in relationships is when a partner misinterprets ADHD symptoms. If you’ve been in a relationship with someone with ADHD for more than a year, the initial whirlwind of courtship has most likely worn off, and you may be asking yourself, “What was that all about?What happened to those very romantic times we had in the beginning, when I seemed to be the highest priority in his/her life? ” A hyperfocus courtship can be a very normal part of the ADHD relationship, and it can often seem to end with a THUMP!Look for books and reputable websites to find out what ADHD is and read about the main symptoms. The more you understand, the better you will understand your partner’s behaviors.ADHD symptoms may appear differently in each person.Suddenly you wonder how the TV and the internet became so fascinating, when they just didn’t seem to matter much at all in those earlier days.That’s because the ADHD brain was practically vibrating with all that pleasurable dopamine that was surging through it during those initial stimulating times.