Advice on dating a single mother

For most men, dating a single mom can be quite a difficult task. Now I do want to clarify that there is a major difference between being a single mom and being a mom that just happens to be single.

All too often, I see women using this term interchangeably and they are most definitely not one in the same, by any means.

At the end of the day, we are self-sufficient and aren't looking for heroes, but for a partner who can pull his or her own weight. We are not sitting around pondering our social lives every second. Keep it, because most likely, it took work for us to make the date happen.

Our kids cannot watch themselves, unless they're old enough and able.

My friend dated a single mom and she was always breaking plans because of childcare issues, or suggesting he just come over and watch a movie. Maybe she’s like my friend and had a baby after just dating someone. I dated a single mom who had a lot of issues with her ex and I found that I got sucked into a lot of drama.

I’m young and I want to have fun, out in the world, not be tied down to someone’s living room while her kid sleeps in the bedroom. I admire my friend for being a stand-up guy and taking care of his son, so my opinion of a woman doing the same … Also, her ex had issues with me being around his daughter because he was threatened by the relationship that was forming.

There seem to be several perks when it comes to dating a woman with kid(s).

Yes, we would like love in our lives and it stinks that the father of our child or other coparent is not the big love we may have hoped for, but we aren't desperately posting on Craigslist for some guy to save us.Also, my friend’s ex had a kid that always wanted to sleep in his mom’s bed and that would be a problem for me. I want all the perks that come with a grown-up relationship.” “A lot of my friends are divorced and one guy even has a kid after a one-night stand. Before you get involved with a new partner, as a single mom you wish there were a few things you could tell these potential paramours bluntly, although laying it all on the line might be a bit intimidating!The other perk being that you can almost guarantee that a house with kids in it, is guaranteed to have snacks on demand at all times.And depending on how you look at it, there may also be some “downsides” when it comes to dating a mom, let alone a single mom. When asked what she wishes her mom would do differently while dating, Rachel, a smart young graduate student, replied, “I wish she would recognize her own impulsivity and emotional rollercoaster.She does and says things without recognizing that to some extent our whole family is dating this guy.True, she's a woman and wants to be seen as that but she's also a mother and she needs to be seen as that, too. Here are ten things you should know if you want to date a single mom and not suck at it:1. Between single-handedly managing parenting, a career, and running a household, there's often not much room for leisure. Upside: You’ll have plenty of time to maintain your own friendships and hobbies, instead of becoming one of those obnoxious enmeshed couples who have forgotten they are not, in fact, surgically attached.2. Want to know the fastest way to end your relationship with a single mom? Not only were they in her life first, but she’s the reason they exist at all. They’re not an inconvenience and they are definitely not your competition. Would you really want a woman who let some new person — even one as rad as you — take precedence over her kids? It’s something to be admired, even if it didn’t end up the way anyone had planned. (Balls joke avoided.) The sitter may bail on her, her kid may come down with the flu, she may just need to lay down for a while because trying to be Wonder Woman when you don't actually have superpowers is really fucking exhausting. She probably can't drop everything and hop on a plane to Ibiza with you, and her schedule is probably measurably more complex than that of someone who is flying solo.

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